Newsletter 323: I’ve Spent My Whole Life Going Against the Grain

Hey friends,

Happy Wednesday morning.

I need to get something off my chest today.

My dyslexia has been one of the most difficult things I've ever dealt with in my life.

And I'm still trying to figure out how my Level 1 autism and ADHD connect to all of it.

But here's what I know for sure: going against the grain. Feeling like you don't fit in. Like you think differently than everyone else. That's been hard to process.

I try to wear it as a badge of honor.

I'm not a fan of the word "superpower."

But I have found real benefits now that I understand how my lateral thinking mind works. And how to adapt to the linear thinking world we live in.

This newsletter is more personal than usual.

It's the story behind the tools I write about every week.

Because the tools only matter because of why I need them.

The Choices Nobody Supported

Navigating my own children's learning has been incredibly difficult.

For years, I've been concerned about where the school system was heading.

It's why I left my dream of teaching.

I started my own recreation business so I could have the autonomy and agency of working for myself. So I could make decisions based on what I saw, not what I was told to do.

When No Child Left Behind came along, I saw the shift in standardized testing.

I didn't like the direction it was going.

The focus on testing over learning. The narrowing of the curriculum. The one-size-fits-all approach that left kids like me behind.

So after the pandemic, I found a way to do it myself.

We went so far as to create a micro school for our kids.

And I had to go against every person in my family who disagreed with it.

Much like they disagreed with our choice for a home birth.

Or our choice to do a different vaccine schedule.

These aren't political statements. They're personal ones.

They're the result of someone who sees patterns differently and can't ignore what they see.

Someone who processes information laterally instead of linearly.

Someone who questions default assumptions because that's how my brain works.

What It's Like to Think Differently

Let me try to explain something I've struggled to put into words for decades.

When most people think, they follow a straight line. A to B to C.

Linear thinking.

Sequential processing.

That's how schools are designed. That's how most jobs are structured. That's how society expects you to operate.

My brain doesn't work that way.

I think in patterns. Connections. Relationships between ideas that seem unrelated on the surface.

I see the big picture before I see the details.

I understand systems intuitively but struggle with step-by-step instructions.

I can spot trends and predict outcomes, but I can't always explain my reasoning in the linear way people expect.

This is lateral thinking.

And it's both a gift and a curse.

The gift: I see possibilities others miss. I connect dots that seem unrelated. I innovate because I don't think in straight lines.

The curse: I can't always explain how I got there. I struggle to execute sequential tasks. I feel like I'm speaking a different language from everyone else.

The Loneliness of Seeing Clearly

Here's the part that's hard to say out loud.

This feeling of not fitting in. Not being able to explain to others how my brain works. It's isolating.

I see problems with the school system.

I see alternative solutions.

I'm a lifelong learner.

But that doesn't mean a traditional classroom is the right way to do things.

Or that it was ever the right thing for people like me in the first place.

Now, more than ever, there's an opportunity to do things differently.

We have technology that can adapt to different learning styles.

We have AI tools that can bridge the gap between lateral thinking and linear execution.

We have communities forming around neurodivergent thinking as a competitive advantage, not a deficit.

It's hard for me to sit back and do the same thing everyone else has been doing for the last couple hundred years.

Especially when I know there's a better option for my kids.

For other neurodivergent thinkers.

For anyone who's ever felt like school wasn't designed for how their brain works.

And yet I haven't been able to properly convey that.

I haven't found the support to figure it all out.

When I hear myself saying this, I feel like I'm just making excuses.

But I'm not.

This is the reality of thinking differently in a world designed for linear thinkers.

The Cost of Swimming Upstream

Every choice I've made has come with pushback.

Leaving teaching when I had tenure and benefits.

Starting a recreation business instead of staying in a stable career.

Homeschooling when everyone said we were setting our kids up to fail.

Creating a micro school when family members questioned our judgment as parents.

The pattern is always the same:

I see something clearly.

I can't unsee it.

I make a decision based on what I see.

Everyone else thinks I'm wrong.

I move forward anyway because I trust my pattern recognition more than their linear logic.

And then I spend years wondering if I made the right call.

That's exhausting.

Not the decision itself. But the constant questioning. The isolation. The feeling that you're the only one who sees what you see.

And the worst part?

I couldn't always articulate why I made the choices I made.

Because lateral thinking doesn't translate easily into linear explanations.

"I just know" doesn't hold up in an argument with family members who want data and logic and step-by-step reasoning.

The Algorithm Doesn't Care

Here's something I've noticed over 320+ editions of this newsletter.

Every time I write about this type of stuff (the raw, vulnerable, real stuff) I get no shares.

No likes.

No social media engagement.

But then I post a picture of my dog or dinner?

Hundreds of engagements.

The algorithm rewards easy dopamine.

Quick hits. Visual content. Stuff that doesn't require thought or emotional investment.

The deep stuff? The vulnerable stuff? The "here's what it's actually like to live in a neurodivergent brain" stuff?

Crickets.

So it's not for lack of trying.

I keep writing and sharing these thoughts anyway.

In a way that I hope others relate to and connect with.

Because somewhere out there, someone needs to hear this.

Someone who feels like they don't fit in.

Someone who thinks differently and can't explain why.

Someone who's been told they're making excuses when they're just describing their reality.

If you're reading this and nodding along, this is for you.

You're not alone.

Why I Keep Going

I have my voice now.

I have 320+ newsletters where I've documented how I think.

I have thousands of threads and conversations. What I call my digital diary. Where I've explained how I feel and gotten it off my chest.

Voice-to-text AI gave me that.

The ability to speak my thoughts and have them captured accurately.

To process ideas out loud instead of trying to force them through the bottleneck of typing.

To operate at the speed of my mind instead of the speed of my fingers.

This newsletter is part of that.

It's my hero's journey.

Documenting the tools that work.

Sharing how these technologies bridge the gap between lateral thinking and linear execution.

Hoping to find connection with others who think like me.

And eventually, income.

Not because I'm trying to get rich off neurodivergent people.

But because if I can help other people who think like me find their bridge (their way to get their thoughts out of their head and into the world) that's worth something.

That's worth everything.

What I've Learned About My Brain

After years of struggling and decades of feeling like I didn't fit in, here's what I've finally figured out:

My lateral thinking isn't a bug. It's a feature.

But only if I have tools that work with it instead of against it.

Traditional education tried to force me into linear thinking. Step-by-step processes. Sequential learning. That created friction.

AI tools let me work laterally. Start with the big picture. Make connections. See patterns. Then use AI to handle the sequential execution I struggle with.

That's the 10-80-10 Rule in action:

• First 10%: Ideation and pattern recognition (my strength)

• Middle 80%: Sequential execution (where I struggle, AI handles this)

• Last 10%: Quality control and refinement (my strength again)

This isn't about replacing my thinking.

It's about augmenting the parts where my brain doesn't naturally excel.

And amplifying the parts where it does.

The Bridge I've Been Building

For 320+ editions, I've been documenting this journey.

How AI tools work for neurodivergent thinking.

How voice-to-text closes the gap between thought speed and typing speed.

How lateral thinkers have natural advantages in AI collaboration.

How the deficit model of dyslexia is wrong.

How we're entering an era where cognitive partnership with AI gives neurodivergent thinkers a competitive edge.

This isn't theory.

This is lived experience.

Thousands of hours of conversation with AI.

Hundreds of thousands of words dictated instead of typed.

Dozens of tools tested and evaluated.

Frameworks built and refined.

All documented in real-time as I figured it out.

That's the archive.

The digital diary.

The proof that thinking differently isn't a disadvantage when you have the right tools.

The Connection

Tomorrow, I'm going to share about voice features and AI tools. How they've become my essential accessibility feature.

The specific tools. The workflows. The practical implementation.

But I wanted to write this one first.

Because the tools only matter because of why I need them.

And the why is this:

The why is a lifetime of swimming upstream.

The why is thinking differently and feeling alone in it.

The why is going against the grain on education, parenting, career, and life choices.

The why is seeing patterns others don't see and not being able to explain them in linear terms.

The why is finally (finally) having tools that let me operate at the speed of my mind.

The why is finding my voice after decades of not having one.

If This Resonates

If you've ever felt like you don't fit in.

If you think differently and can't always explain why.

If you've been swimming upstream your whole life.

If you've made choices that nobody supported.

If you see patterns and possibilities that others miss.

If you've been told you're making excuses when you're just describing your reality.

You're not alone.

There are more of us than you think.

We're just scattered. Isolated. Operating in pockets.

But we're finding each other now.

Through newsletters like this one.

Through communities forming around neurodivergent AI advantages.

Through shared experiences of finally having tools that work with our brains instead of against them.

The tools are finally catching up to how we think.

And that changes everything.

Thanks for being part of this journey.

For reading these 320+ editions.

For connecting even when the algorithm doesn't reward it.

For being part of the proof that thinking differently isn't a deficit.

It's just different.

And different is exactly what the world needs more of.

—Matt "Coach" Ivey

Founder, LM Lab AI • Creator, Dyslexic AI

(Dictated, not typed. Obviously.)

TL;DR (Too Long, Didn't Read)

🧠 The Reality: Dyslexia, Level 1 autism, and ADHD have made me think differently my whole life. Lateral thinking in a linear world. That's been isolating.

🏫 The Pattern: I've gone against the grain on education, parenting, work, and life choices. Often without support from family or community. Every decision questioned.

👨‍🏫 The Breaking Point: Left teaching when No Child Left Behind shifted focus to standardized testing. Started recreation business for autonomy. Created micro school for kids.

🧩 Lateral vs Linear: My brain thinks in patterns and connections, not sequential steps. See big picture before details. Understand systems intuitively. Gift and curse.

💬 The Algorithm: Vulnerable posts get silence. Dog photos get hundreds of engagements. I keep writing anyway because someone needs to hear this.

📝 The Archive: 320+ newsletters documenting how I think. Thousands of conversations. My digital diary of getting thoughts out of head and into world.

🎯 The Bridge: Voice-to-text AI gave me my voice. Ability to speak thoughts instead of type them. Operate at speed of mind instead of speed of fingers.

🔧 10-80-10 Rule: First 10% ideation (my strength), middle 80% execution (AI handles), last 10% quality control (my strength). Cognitive partnership in action.

💡 The Why: Lifetime of swimming upstream. Thinking differently and feeling alone. Finally having tools that work with lateral thinking, not against it.

🌉 The Mission: Help others who think like me find their bridge. Document the journey. Build the frameworks. Prove neurodivergent thinking is feature, not bug.

➡️ Next: Edition 324 on why voice-to-text is my most essential accessibility feature. The specific tools and workflows that changed everything.

✨ Bottom line: If you've ever felt like you don't fit in, like you think differently, like you're swimming upstream. You're not alone. The tools are finally catching up. And that changes everything.

If this resonates with you, reach out. Seriously. I want to hear your story. Because connection is the whole point. And the algorithm be damned.